Dissolving the need to prove myself

I often struggle with knowing what to post about. This is relatively new for me, as when I have had blogs in the past I was able to write fluidly as the inspiration poured from me. I think about this often, as that was the basis of my books, they began somewhat as a compilation of blog entries that formed something more. Now, as one of those first two books is nearing completion, posting can feel like more pressure to me than release.

But then again, does it really matter what I write about? If it comes from within, and it is my sincere inner true, I can trust that it is just fine as it is. This is a new place for me, for I spent decades unable to trust in myself or trust the journey. Which brings me to the profound realization I had yesterday...

I was in meditation, filling my belly with energy and feeling the density of that energy within. I asked myself a question, to please show me the truth of who I am. Within the meditation, the answer was so soft, so subtle. It would be easily dismissed if I didn't know any better. Even as the day went by and I awoke this morning struggling to remember the answer, again it came, just as subtly, softly, and quietly as the first time, yet there was no mistaking the message my heart was giving me; there is nothing I need to prove.

I saw my life unfold, and how the need to prove myself has driven my life thus far. My obsession with success, my inability to accept my mistakes, my desire for business growth and expansion, all based on the need to prove my worth. Where does this come from? What has it done for me? How hard have I been on myself as a result of it?

In this realization I watched as the need dissolved and I felt immense relief. I felt my body relax and ease up. I felt the fluidity of life all around me and I felt connected to it. I felt a whole new universe as my purpose for being lost its intensity and it just was something that I felt naturally. It was so beautiful to have this experience, and as I connected with myself and the energy of the universe during meditation this morning, I knew this was something I could share...