So, I did a thing. I began a Qi Gong certification program about a week ago and I just love it. I feel that it picks up where I left off from my training in the Healing Arts of Danzan Ryu Seifukujitsu. I love how well my foundation has been laid, which makes moving forward effortless and smooth. But what I notice most is how prepared I feel for reconnecting with a part of myself that I did not know still existed within me.
There were certain components of being a Sensei that felt really good. Being able to connect to the power source of the Tao that surrounds me was both my greatest asset as well as my biggest fear. I used to love how when I would connect to that power source, the right words at the right time would flow out of me, it always felt so amazing that such wisdom could spill forth so easily. As it turns out, I can still access that.
As I led the meditation workshop this past Saturday, I felt as that strength, confidence, and intuitive wisdom flowed out of me. This morning as I go over my Qi Gong lessons, I also feel my inner Sensei immerging yet again. When I feel challenged by life, I have begun meditating with my black belt in order to help me feel that strength and courage. Together, I feel as it all comes back full circle, but with a much greater awareness this time around of who I want to be as a person and how I want to reflect my uniquely beautiful energy into this world.
I had thought that being Sensei was a role. It was a role that I did not play well at the time. Now I am realizing that energy is energy, and it is all present within me anytime I want to tap into it. If I want to unleash the energy of being Sensei, I merely have to connect to it within. There are many energies within that I might connect to; the wise one, the foolish one, the courageous one, the healer, the nurturing one... I can access any of them at any time.
One other significant point I took away as I meditated on these ideas is that it is not helpful to push away the ones we might consider negative. The fearful one or the wild one for example, require our attention too. When we pretend they don't exist, they gain power, but when we love and honor them, we all find a way to work together to put our best foot forward. I have found it most helpful to connect with these less than perfect sides of myself when connecting with others. It helps us be relatable and fills us with compassion. This is the full range of human-ness that we get to experience while we are here, there is no need to control it but great need to accept it.